How did I start drawing?

Written By Siddarth H

It’s a question I’m often asked, and the answer takes me back to a time before my treatment for Stage 3 cervical cancer. I was a photographer and filmmaker—drawing had never been part of my creative process, aside from the occasional doodle in a notebook. But everything shifted when I was preparing for a seven-day brachytherapy radiation treatment at Institut Marie Curie in Paris. I knew I would be confined to a bed for continuous radiation, and I needed more than just physical items to bring with me—I needed tools that would help me mentally navigate the ordeal.

The idea of being "pinned down" felt suffocating, but I wanted to turn it into an opportunity for expression. I carefully curated a list of items that would keep me occupied and help me process the experience through creativity. Drawing, as it turned out, was one of the first things I thought of.

Here’s what I packed:

  • Books

  • Ink for drawing

  • Sennelier oil pastels

  • Notebook for writing

  • DVDs (comedies)

  • FIMO (colorful plasticine)

  • Crocheting supplies

  • Camera

  • Blog to update daily

  • Paint and canvas

  • White Italian clay (small batches)

  • Sticky tape, glue, scissors

  • Sound therapy machine

My bag for the hospital was also filled with a folder of all the cards and messages loved ones had sent me, as well as all the items mentioned above. These creative materials became more than just items—they were lifelines. Each of them, in their own way, helped me reclaim some control over my body and mind, and drawing, in particular, became a way for me to transform my inner world into something tangible.

The act of creating during that time, no matter how small or imperfect, became an essential part of my healing. And in that hospital bed, I began to draw for the first time. It wasn’t just about surviving the treatment—it was about finding a way to express the complexities of my experience. Drawing gave me a voice when words failed. It allowed me to connect with a part of myself I hadn’t known before—a part that still needed to be seen, even in the midst of pain and uncertainty.

Siddarth H
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Radiation Begins